Surviving Relationships During Quarantine
“I can’t wait to spend all of my time with you”. “I just want to wake up and see you next to me”. “Let’s cuddle all day and watch movies”. These are all things that I said to my partner before March 16, 2020, the day the mayor of New Orleans ordered the “Stay at Home” mandate.
Suddenly, all of those cute ideas became a forced reality. We have no choice but to exist in each other’s presences and let me tell you, it has been an eye opening experience.
I can write 1 million blog posts about how much my boyfriend and I have in common, but quarantine has put all of our differences on display. We can start with the classic introvert vs extrovert situation.
I am an extrovert. I enjoy being outside and being around other people. It gives me energy and excitement. My boyfriend, however, is an introvert. He is completely fine with playing video games and watching tv all day in the house.
Because of this simple difference, it effects how we spend time together. My idea of quality time during this pandemic is to go for a walk in the park together while his idea is to cuddle up and watch a movie.
Our interests in entertainment an other things vary as well. When my boyfriend watches television, he finds pleasure in classic shows like Grey’s Anatomy, This Is us, or How To Get Away With Murder. If he isn’t watching that, he can find an anime cartoon and lose himself in the story. My go to show, on the other hand, is Bob’s Burgers. I can also watch Dateline and any other murder mystery shows until bedtime. So as you can imagine, deciding on something to watch causes a lot of frustration and patience.
We have different dietary habits, different ideas of fitness, and even different bedtimes. From the outside looking in, it may seem like we are completely incompatible.
Although it is easy to focus on the the negatives or the differences that we experience there is a silver lining in the midst of this quarantine. If we are to make it through our differences, we have to communicate.
Communication and trust are the two most important parts of a relationship and they go hand in hand. In order to have successful communication, you must trust that your partner will receive the information that you deliver in a positive way. It is important in communication to understand the intention behind the conversation.
Let’s face it, my boyfriend chews way too loud (sorry if you’re reading this baby…but it’s true). If I were to communicate to him about how this bothers me, then I need to understand the intention behind that conversation. If at any point it is to hurt him, then I need to re-evaluate my relationship.
I’m making a decision to make this quarantine the best part of our relationship. I’m going to make the choice to communicate more with him not only about the things that bother me, but also about the things that are great in our relationship.
I challenge anyone who is in a quarantined relationship to do the same. Take the time to communicate and to grow as a couple. Work on trust or other healthy things that can bring the two of you closer together. We will emerge from this better than ever!
Dr. Andrew Watley 